Three Impossible Things 1

Joining the creatives at The Daily Post for some good times today:

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” – the White Queen, Alice in Wonderland.

What are the six impossible things you believe in? (If you can only manage one or two, that’s also okay.)

None. At least none that I think are impossible. I’m sure some out there think God falls into that group, but I’m not going there today. Instead, here are some things that – from the bottom of my little black heart – I wish were real. I could only come up with three, and here they are in no particular order.

1. Time travel. Obvious, I know, but who cares. Being a bit of a chicken sh*t (changing the past might make all the people I love disappear and looking into the future might only confirm my fear of becoming a reclusive cat lady by seeing it in the flesh) I’d only go back in time to see what certain people really looked like – you know, like Jesus Christ and my great cousin Haaken who everyone said was so handsome but I’ve never seen a picture of. Also I would have to be invisible. Like do you really want to startle Attila the Hun and get your head cut off? I think not.

2. Hobbits. I love them because they are simple and underestimated. Besides that, they get (and are expected) to spend their entire day planning their next meal – and six meals to boot! They tend their gardens by day (while not eating, obvi), take the occasional break to smoke a pipe, then spend their nights eating and drinking merrily. What could be better than that? Kind of wish I was a hobbit, which is why they need to be real.

3. Broomsticks that fly. Because that’s what I’d do at night when I get bored. Pretty self-explanatory. Plus I think it would be a great way to freak out mean people. The a**hole who yelled at his kid in front of everyone at Walmart the other day? Just go hover in front of his bedroom window on a dark stormy night, maybe bob up and down a little, then bet that he won’t scream like a little girl.

Witch

Nailed it.

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