7 Quick Takes Reply

Court Reporting, Family, Link Ups, Little Italy, Niko, Seven Quick Takes, Zoë

Again with the linking up at Conversion Diary…

1.  I have roughly 4 minutes to write my Takes today, so they’ll be short and not the point as usual. Take 1, boom.

2.  We have an official move-in date and will be calling Little Italy home on July 1st! Woot! I’m soooo excited but will miss being waited on hand and foot by the ‘rents. Will someone please remind me why the 16-year-old me just couldn’t wait to be a grownup and live all by her lonesome? If I could go back and smack her I’d just kick the sh*t out of her and be done with it.

3.  I got to spend this week in a new courthouse courtesy of temporarily calling South Bay (aka 5 minutes away from Mexico) my home. At first I thought I’d hate it since it’s not in big bad downtown but I LOVED IT! The people are so nice down here, and I’m so happy to be living closer so I can work there more often. Seriously, the place reminds me of a public library but with metal detectors and people in handcuffs. Love it.

4.  Last night I had my first ever experience with Transformers, reading the discount Barnes & Noble cartoon book to Niko. I kept calling the Decepticons “Deceptitrons” and Niko did his not-best to be patient with me for being such a dumb ass. I may at one time have called the Autobots “Acrobats,” but it was probably on purpose. When we were introduced to “Jazz,” some shiny transforming Acrobat (heh), Niko jumped up in bed and said, “Whoa…Oppa Gangnam Style!”

5.  Next week the kids and I are jetting off to the great state of Montana. There are two possibilities: 1) Revitalization due to fresh air and big skies; and 2) Commitment of yours truly to a mental institution on Day 2 due to traveling alone with chimpanzees. Time will tell.

6.  Zoë is now a third-grader. I might cry.

7.  Seriously, when did I turn into Frumpy Frumperstein? Time to stop eating nachos and break out that dusty Brazil Butt video. Blech….

Happily I’ve reached 7. Now head over to Jen’s place and erase this post from your memory forever.

Lake Melissa, I’ve missed you! Reply

Dottie the Hound Dog, Family

Lake

Not to brag, but I’m in my favorite place on the planet right now…the Lake. A while ago I wrote this very depressing post about how my favorite place in the world was about to disappear…but guess what? It didn’t! Everything changed and it’s still here and now I’m here and I’m SO HAPPY.

I really love my kids but am very happy I got to leave them home and come by myself for a few days. Hopefully they’ll see it later in the summer and I can start indoctrinating them with Lake Life ASAP. This place is a huge chunk of my pie chart and I don’t think I’m being unreasonable to want the same for them.

I’m kind of a nervous flier, I’ll admit, but I’m getting much better and am far less irrational and preoccupied with death by falling from the sky. The flight from L.A. to Fargo was totally uneventful, and it didn’t even bother me that the Darth Vader theme was going through my head the whole time. (Niko and I have been watching a lot of Star Wars lately.) I did, unfortunately, watch “Identity Theft” on the plane. Very bad, I don’t recommend it even though I super-heart Melissa McCarthy. Just avoid it at all costs.

I boarded The Hound Dog at the vet, and it’s a good thing too since she ate an entire bottle of doggie painkillers that they sent home with me after she was spayed last month, and she literally did it 2 minutes before we left the house.

Asshole.

They had to make her vomit, the little sh*t, and of course she’s fine now and happy as a clam eating treats and playing with all the other little omnivores. I wish I had her life…apart from the rat poison incident and being forced to vomit up gum wrappers and other unmentionables. I got the feeling the vet enjoyed telling me all the contents of Dottie’s stomach.

Hounds. They eat everything, just so ya know.

And now I will take the nap to end all naps…’cuz I had to get up at 3:30 a.m. and that’s just not how I roll. Prepare for many, many annoying pictures and stories about cheese. (Really, I have a story about cheese. I’m aware that Minnesota is not Wisconsin, but there’s STILL A CHEESE STORY.)

Carry on. And send me a message if you like. I’ve got 3 days with no distractions. And since the relatives decided to (in their own words) “learn the Internet,” I’ve got…well…the Internet.

:-)

7 Quick Takes Reply

Link Ups, Random, Seven Quick Takes • Tags: , , ,

Joining the 7 Quick Takes link-up with Jen once again!*

1. As far as strange days go…well, it’s Friday. It began with me packing mountain-y clothes for Zoë to take on her Indian Princesses camping trip that she’s on RIGHT NOW with her dad. I may have tripped over the hound dog once or twice in the process, but that’s the new norm around here as she prefers to walk between my feet at all times. She either has separation anxiety or is getting back at me for feeding her bowls of Life cereal at every meal because I keep forgetting to buy dog food.

2. Niko and I saw The Girl and The Man off on their camping trip and headed straight to Target to buy a toy for him because that’s what we do now, and we made a quick detour to a nearby Panera to answer a sudden and urgent Call of Nature. Now, I wouldn’t normally mention Calls of Nature here, but there’s a point so bear with me for a few more takes.

3. The big stall was taken so we squeezed into the tiny one. At the end of it all I heard the woman in the big stall sobbing her poor little eyes out. Like if I could bottle the sound of “Utter Despair,” this would have been it. I stood there for a while wondering what to say or do, if anything, and then vividly remembered sobbing my eyes out like that at the height of the BBSD** and if an anonymous someone had said “Are you okay?” I would have eeked out the words “I..need..a..hug.” I expected something like that to come from the other side of the stall door, that or “mind your own effing business,” but what I didn’t expect was to find this poor woman bleeding profusely into the toilet and all over the floor.

4. I had Niko draped over one shoulder as I was peering through the crack in the door and asking her if she was pregnant, did she take something, blah, blah, blah, and he was such a trooper through the whole thing and just rested his head on my shoulder and didn’t make a peep. Angel child. He didn’t even try to chat with the 911 dispatcher, which was very impressive. This kid will always be welcome to accompany me in an emergency.

5. I hung up with 911 and found a manager and it was such a not-thrill telling her that there was someone bleeding out in the ladies room. I could see it in her eyes: “I’m gonna have to clean that sh– up.” But she manned up and headed for the bathroom while Niko and I went outside to flag down the fire truck that arrived about 30 seconds later. Those good boys, they were quick. I’m sure they’re relieved that I approve.

6. I showed them where the ladies room was and they said “Thanks we’ll take it from here,” and then it was all over…for me. I’ve been thinking about her all afternoon and SO hope she’s okay. What a horrible thing to happen to someone on their lunch hour on a Friday. Or ever. When we were walking back to the car after he’d been silent through the entire ordeal, Niko said, “Can we go to Target now?”

Niko Flies Falcon

Yep, went to Target.

7. Suffice to say, we made it to Target. It wasn’t until Niko had finally chosen what toy he wanted that I started shaking from top to bottom and had to come up with clever ways to stop myself from vomiting in the aisle. Strange day indeed.

* I noticed Grace at Camp Patton doing this italicized intro to her 7QT post and decided to steal it, but not without feeling compelled to announce that I stole the idea.

** BBSD = Big Bad Scary Depression

How to kill time like an expert 2

Niko, Random, The Move, Zoë

Well, Phase One of the Great Escape is complete, and the kiddos and I are successfully making a mess out of my parents’ beautiful home while they tour Israel and some stupid Greek isle that rhymes with Schmantorini. The moving truck carried away all of my not-treasured items on Monday and I finished cleaning the place out yesterday. Ah…

Oh, did I forget to mention I had to drive 54 miles to Oceanside to take Zoë to school this morning? Sorry. I emailed her teacher at 6 a.m. today and it went a little something like this:

“You know how school starts at 8:00? We’ll be there at 10:00. For the rest of the year. Love, Annie.”

While some of you may scoff, kiss my a$$. There are 4 days left of school and she’s not going to flunk second grade. Pardon me if I don’t want to wake the kids up at 4:00 a.m. so I can beat the rush-hour traffic.

And this would not have happened if I'd left on time

And this would not have happened if I’d left on time.

So Niko and I got Zoë to school, and then we had to go to Subway to get her lunch since we haven’t made an official trip to the store yet. After we delivered it I took Niko to get his hair cut. The whole time we were there I kept thinking, Don’t forget any of this because you have to write it down…for the people.

The proprietor of this little-people “salon” was a very colorful gentleman named Marciano. After spending 5 minutes with him Niko and were both in love, even though we were both completely horrified at what a dump the place is. Now, I’m not usually horrified by messes or germs, but it was pretty disgusting. In the end it turned out to be…charming? I’m not sure that’s the right word. Let’s just say it’s very…Marciano.

He had to ask Niko 7 times to tell him his name. When he finally got an answer, he told us he had a cousin named Niko who died while eating a carnitas taco, his fourth in a row. “He had such a smile on his face but he was already all stiff when we found him.”

The definition of handsome right here

The definition of handsome right here

The eventful haircut was followed by 3.5 mind-numbingly boring hours of I-have-to-kill-time-because-the-drive-home-is-too-long-to-do-more-than-once. When we finally picked ZZ up from school we were exhausted, and when we came upon a brand new accident on the freeway about 3 miles from home and I had to navigate my way around it very carefully so as not to be plowed into at 80 miles an hour, the kids were screaming at each other at the top of their lungs and I completely lost my sh*t.

“BE QUIET!!!”

Well, they did technically deserve it but I still want to cut my heart out with a spoon and have ever since those very kind words (followed by other very kind words) left my mouth at a quite-high decibel level. We’ve kissed and made up, but it’s been a long day and I can still barely move after packing and moving and putting roughly 1,000 miles on my car this week. We’re headed to Froyo here in a minute and then I’m imposing a bedtime for all of us at roughly 7:24 p.m.

In completely unrelated news, my boy still has a swollen left eye after trying on my sunglasses a little too aggressively. He’ll be sleeping in my bed tonight so I can make sure God doesn’t steal him from me because he made the terrible mistake of giving me this boy that keeps poking himself in the eye because I’m always somehow looking the other way. For that reason and also because I accidentally poked the little guy in the eye myself before bed the other night. WTF??

Enjoy the almost-over week, my friends! I know I will.

7 Quick Takes: The Kindle Fire Edition Reply

Seven Quick Takes

Linking up again with Jen and the other lovelies (from my Kindle Fire because I left my laptop – purposely – at the office.)

1. I’m guessing it won’t take long before my thumbs tire of hunting and pecking on this Godforsaken tablet. That’s Take No. 1. Boom!

2. Tonight is our last night in Carlsbad. Pardon me as I jump for joy! I’m not being sarcastic either. I know, it’s so unlike me. The kids are playing on electronics in their beds (it’s their last night so I indulged them) and I’m watching a bad chick flick and am on my second glass of wine. Good times.

3. Because you need to know, I’ve gone landscape mode on the Kindle Fire and am now hunting and pecking with my index fingers. Boom!

4. This movie sucks. Is “Die Hard” on Netflix?

5. Okay, my fingers are getting tired. Back to portrait mode.

6. Have I mentioned it’s our last night in Carlsbad?? I can’t remember…I’m on my 12th glass of wine. Not really, but there must be some reason why I can’t think about ANYTHING ELSE! It’s a long time coming, my friends, about 5 years later than it should have been but at least it’s finally happening.

7. The kids-saying-goodbye-to-the-nanny fiasco was not a fiasco after all. However, I didn’t realize I had run out of checks and now have to make a trip to her house with a cashier’s check in the morning, hence another prolonged goodbye that I can’t stand thinking about. Goodbyes make me crazy. Take care, you.

In related news, I’m out of wine.

Random thoughts from an overwhelmed female… Reply

Court Reporting, Random, Seven Quick Takes

I can’t believe I’m writing something that in no way involves 7 Quick Takes! (Tomorrow? Different story.)

Among other major life changes, I’m in the middle of a move. And this time it’s not across the street. It’s from one city to another – yes, they’re only 35 miles apart but those 35 miles are the longest of my life every day and I hate every one of them. What’s keeping me (partially) sane and (very) happy is the fact that I’m moving from a place I hate to a place I love. Seriously, when I finally get there I’ll feel like I’ve died and gone to Heaven.

Naturally, since there’s so much to do, I’m having a glass of wine at 3:00 in the afternoon and writing a blog post. Because, you know, priorities.

Work-wise, things are awesome. I’ve been so busy and it’s such a welcome change to the hellish dry spell that was all of January through March. I’ve had back-to-back-to-back trials to report and have been absolutely loving it. I started another one this week but it was abruptly continued until September when someone in a pivotal role had a heart attack . Suddenly I’ve got all this time to sort and pack, sort and pack, sort and pack… It’s awesome. (But I’m sorry for the heart attack, seriously. I’d rather be stuck at work wondering how I’d get it all done than have someone go through that.)

Tomorrow I’ll be riding the commuter train for the last time and it’s making me feel sad. I met people I’d never have known otherwise and I’ll miss them. If I don’t want to lose them all I’m going to have to make an effort and I’m bad at efforts. But I do declare that I’m turning over a new leaf and will try, try, try, try, try… I have to stop talking about this now because I’m getting choked up and that’s not the goal of this here post.

Do I not sound overwhelmed yet? Here’s more. My kids…ugh…have to say goodbye to one of their favorite people tomorrow and it’s going to be HORRIBLE. Elizabeth, the nanny sent from Heaven, will be greatly missed by those little people and, by extension, me. She’s been a lifesaver in so many ways, even though I’ve always felt like I was outsourcing motherhood to her and was thoroughly resentful about it. But that’s not her fault. To be perfectly honest, I’m going to miss her as much as Niko and Zoë will and now I’m choking up again.

And then there are the neighbors. Even though I hate where I live, I adore my neighbors and their kids and it’s going to suck wind to say goodbye to them. On the upside, we’re moving a half hour away and will probably see them like the day after we move out. But still…for some reason I feel compelled to be sad.

Blah, blah, blah… I just heard the dryer ding at me so I’m out of here. Sigh…

 

 

 

Life…Updated 7

Random

Okay, my octet of friends. Here’s the big news:  I’M! MOVING! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, for the love of God I can talk again! I had to talk to The Man, and then I had to talk to The Kids, and then I had to talk to The Nanny. And now I’m drinking heavily because those were all not-super-pleasant conversations. (The Nanny was the hardest…I still might vomit.) I couldn’t tell the kids for fear they’d break the news to The Man or The Nanny, neither of which would have been good for anyone.

So now everyone knows. I can speak freely and say…I.HATE.LIVING.IN.CARLSBAD.

Why? Who knows. It’s gorgeous, I love my neighbors, there’s a beach 5 minutes away…that I never go to. I forget it’s even there. I couldn’t care less about the big beautiful ocean. THERE, I SAID IT. (I promise to stop using Caps Lock for dramatic effect starting…NOW.)

Where are we going? Glad you asked. (I know you didn’t. Sorry.)

Little Italy

The new ‘hood

I’ll be able to walk to work. The kids’ new school is within walking distance. I may have died and gone to Heaven.

More to come…I just caught Dottie the Basset Hound drinking my gin & tonic so I have to scram.

Seven Quick Takes…Again! 1

Link Ups, Niko, Seven Quick Takes, Zoë • Tags: ,

Joining Jen once again for all I seem to write anymore.

1.  It’s been a while since I’ve written anything, not because of a lack of activity, I assure you. (Cuz I was so active before…not.) There are some craaaazy things afoot but I can’t talk about it until I’ve told all of the important people. Much like a man getting a text from someone saying “Congratulations on your upcoming bundle of joy” before his wife has broken the news, I can’t let them read it here first. But it’s cool. Suuuuuuper cool.

2.  Much to your delight, I’ve decided to stop all usage of too many letters in a word for dramatic effect, as in “you’re weeeeeeelcome.”

3.  I quit Facebook. Yep. I’d blocked so many people that all that was left were posts about bodily functions and pictures of bowls of spaghetti and green smoothies. (Knock it off. I don’t care if you eat vegetables.)

The straw that broke the camel’s back was getting an email from someone wondering why I hadn’t yet accepted their “friend” request. Well…I was kind of speechless since I see this person every day. I guess Facebook friendships are becoming more important than face-to-face ones. That’s not good, people. Not good. Over it.

4.  The only downside to my Facebook departure is that now I’ve lost 7 of the 8 people who read this, so if you wouldn’t mind spreading the links…? Sharing is caring, after all.

5.  Let’s talk drinks. I’m what you might call a seasonal drinker, meaning my favorite drinks change with the seasons. (You can say it…I’m one of a kind.) In winter it’s whiskey; in spring it’s gin. And thanks to an introduction to The King’s Ginger by my lovely Australian aunt, my now-favorite drink is a gin & tonic with a splash of ginger. You should try it. Just make sure you’re not thirsty or you’ll drink too much too fast. Not that I did that…

MOVING ON

6.  Every now and then I let one of the kids sleep with me at night, even though it will surely be a night of zero sleep for me due to covers being kicked off while I’m being smacked in the face. But they’re so sweet and I so enjoy cuddling up with them. One night last week it was Zoë’s turn, and I heard her get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Before she got back in bed she came over to my side of the bed, leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. I died a little.

7.  Here’s a recent conversation between Niko and me while he was in the bath:

Niko (in his fighting voice):  WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ALWAYS WASH MY NECK?
Me:  So I can nibble on it!
Niko (in regular voice):  What’s nibbling?
Me:  Little kisses like I give you on the cheek.
Niko:  Oh.

(Riveting.)

After said bath, Niko came running up to me in his glow-in-the-dark Angry Birds pajamas, jumped into my lap, lifted his head and said, “Nibble me!” And I died a little bit more…

Seven…er…Five Quick Takes 1

Link Ups, Random, Seven Quick Takes

Thank God for Seven Quick Takes or I’d never write anything again. This week it’s being hosted by the lovely Grace because Jen is just a tad bit preoccupied…

1.  Last night I washed every dish in the house and put away every scrap of my laundry…in 30 minutes…after roughly 30 hours of procrastination. Surely this has caused a rip in the space-time continuum. And notice I said “my laundry” and didn’t mention anything about the kids’ laundry. I’m still waiting for them to just figure it out on their own…you know, magically.

2.  Who knew I’d stoop so low in my quest for new friends? While sitting outside felony arraignment court for 2 hours yesterday – I was at work, I’ll have you know – I showed a potential felon with 3 teeth how to use his new iPhone. There are so many things wrong with all of what I just said so I’m just going to move on to Take 3.

3.  I was recently advised to lift my ban on Trader Joe’s (I’ve always found it annoying) because of their easy-to-prepare frozen dishes and my lack of time to create masterpieces in my cave/kitchen. The same day I gave a virtual fist bump to Jones and Grace over our mutual dislike of TJ’s, I succumbed to that advice and bought out their entire frozen food section.

TJs

Suddenly my kids think I’m Julia Child and I’m marveling at being able to prepare meals for them that won’t clog their little arteries in about as much time as it takes to hit the drive-thru at In-N-Out. I so hate to be proven wrong. On the other hand I only go at night just before they close so I’m not cart-stalked by the crazies who already know where everything is.

4.  I find that I have much less to complain about these days. Really, I’m trying to come up with something but I can’t. I’ll move on before I have a revelation.

5.  I’m out of ideas… That whole lack-of-complaints thing is cutting into my discussion topics.

I think I’ll take up with The Milk Carton Incident this weekend and see what I can squeeze out of it.  In the meantime, Happy Friday! Head on over to Camp Patton for much better reading. (Seriously, I’ve linked to it like 12 times already so you should get the hint.)

Seven Quick Takes 4

Link Ups, Seven Quick Takes • Tags: ,

Time for another 7QT link-up with Jen Fulwiler and other much better writers. As usual, you’re welcome.

1.  This week has been one in which I’ve spent way too much time with me, myself and I, and I haven’t been very good company. It’s made for quite the cranky Annie, I’ll have you know. So far it hasn’t risen to the level of The Shining, but I did look in the mirror the other day and saw who I thought might be Jack Torrance and almost screamed. Luckily next week is shaping into a very busy workweek, so I guess I’d better do some laundry and make sure I have enough clean underwear to last me until Friday.

2.  Right now my kids and I are “on vacation,” meaning we’re staying overnight in my parents’ empty house in lovely Chula Vista, California because my cabin fever was ready to kill us all. I can’t figure out how to turn on their TV, so I’ve enlisted the services of my resident engineer, Niko. He’s 4, by the way.

3.  Last night in honor of it being Friday we had a New Girl marathon to celebrate (I’d die without Hulu) and there was a commercial for Even Better Eyes, which apparently gets rid of dark circles. Zoë looked at me over the frames of her bifocals and said, “You need that.” This being just one day after she’d pointed out all the brown spots on my face, I might have cried a little.

This kid...

This kid…

4.  Maybe the week would have been better if I hadn’t started it off with a wee bit of a hangover. Last Sunday being St. Patrick’s Day, of course I spent 12 hours with my close personal friend, Linda, and 27 of her other close personal friends drinking great wine and even better whisky. (The kids were with The Man, not that I need to explain.) I brought Dottie along to the festivities since I knew I’d have to spend the night.

We spent some time in the jacuzzi at the end of the night, so my clothes and shoes were elsewhere (meaning only God knew) when I needed them at 6 a.m. Monday morning. Had you been outside the house at that early hour you’d have seen me sneaking out of the house in my bare feet and Linda’s pajamas with my purse under one arm and my hound dog under the other. I’m pretending none of her neighbors saw me leave and, perhaps more important, that none of my neighbors saw me sneaking back into my house. Thank God I didn’t get pulled over.

5.  Note to self:  Return Linda’s pajamas.

6.  I’ve just spent some time going over some previous Wheel posts – including this one – and have noticed that I come across as pretty negative. In general, that’s not true, and I suddenly feel compelled to explain myself.

The last couple of years have been rough. And when I say “rough,” I mean ROUGH. In my own fuzzy mind it began one morning when I woke up to find I couldn’t move one side of my face – Bell’s Palsy is awesome – and from that point things just seemed a little…different. In a nutshell, the last 2 years have been the worst and hardest of my entire short life. If I have one wish left on this earth (I’d be surprised) it’s this: If you met me for the first time since early 2011, I beg of you to start judging me from this day forward and erase almost all memories you have of me over the past two years. Seriously, I was the poster child for Rock Bottom, and I don’t mean the brewery.   

7.  To close the loop on this ever-cheerful round of Takes, let me say that one day I will pound out as much of the separation story as is appropriate, which won’t be much but will probably make future posts a little less cryptic. I really, really love my family, and there’s no possible way for anyone to know the nooks and crannies of it all the way The Man and I know them. All the love and encouragement we’ve both gotten is noted and so very appreciated. In the very wise words of George Lopez, we got this.

And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.